Word is getting out to our friends and family about our plans to adopt from South Korea, and we couldn't be more excited! If this is the first time you're checking this blog out, welcome! We hope these updates will keep you updated on how our adoption progress is coming as time goes on, as well as a few random fun things about our family life too.
One of the first questions I've been asked when I tell people we're adopting is, "what led you to decide to adopt?" Well, read on for my side of the story.....and I'm sure you'll hear Jill's side of the story soon too <nudge, nudge>
Although I can't pinpoint the exact time frame of when the idea of adoption came up, adopting a child was an idea Jill shared with me a couple of years ago. I could tell that adoption was something Jill was burdened by and had given much thought over, but I was fairly closed-minded to the idea. Even though I felt adoption was great for some families to pursue, and I fully supported it, I just wasn't comfortable with the idea of our own family adopting or ever seeing myself adopting a child.
Jill would occasionally bring it up, and my response would be the same - not sensing the same feeling as her. It wasn't until last Spring (2010) that I finally agreed to spend some legitimate time praying and wrestling through the idea of adoption for our family so I could give Jill a definitive answer. As I began praying and thinking through this idea, I began to become convicted at how self-centered my ideas and thoughts about adoption were. I wanted to have
my family in
my own way, and that way didn't involve adoption. Yikes - how selfish (and foolish) could I get?
And so began a journey for me of beginning to see some "markers" that God was placing in my life to help me reconsider my selfish, personal view:
Marker #1: In June 2010 I had the opportunity to go to Colorado and spend a few days with some youth workers from around the U.S. to do some brainstorming and vision planning with a youth ministry organization. It was an incredible trip and a lot of fun being around other like-minded youth workers. While I was there, we had dinner at the director's home. While enjoying some great BBQ pulled pork, chips, and a Pepsi, I found myself in the middle (literally) of a conversation between two youth workers that were sharing about their current international adoption process. Thinking this was a little too surreal, I just listened carefully, not knowing what to say. After a few minutes of listening to their conversation and story, I began to talk more with
Erik (one of the two y-workers) and heard his own story of adoption. It was a bit too ironic for me to hear that his story was very similar to my own. After some more discussion about adoption, he offered to pray with me about God's leading for our family, and encouraged me with some heartfelt words and support. I remember texting Jill later that night with a sense of excitement how God placed me between two youth workers who were following His leading to adopt. God used these two youth workers, who I had just been introduced to, to begin softening my heart to the idea of adopting.
Marker #2: A few weeks later I led our first team of high school students on a 10 day missions trip to the inner city of Memphis, TN. At the end of the trip, we spent a night at a church right outside of Memphis for some team debrief and relaxation. The next day, before driving back to Chicago, we spent some time doing our own quiet devotional, reading through
Matthew 25:31-46. Our theme for this trip was "Dare to Disciple", emphasizing the radical nature and call of being a disciple of Christ. And this devotional was titled "The Gospel Lived Out". All week long we had been challenging the students to consider what it meant to live as a disciple of Christ. It should impact every element of life - including how we interact and care for others, just as this passage was challenging us to consider.
As I wrapped up my time that morning, I needed to answer the question, "What should I do?" in response to what God was teaching me in this passage. One possible application I was wrestling with was "is God asking me/us to live out the meaning of this passage through adopting a child?" It was a huge question to ask, but as a disciple of Christ, it's one that I needed to wrestle with and answer out of obedience to Him. I didn't sense God giving me a definite "yes" or "no" at the time, but did believe that God was using this passage to make me aware of the needs of others. I also felt that He was challenging me to consider how he has called me to respond to these needs, out of obedience to Him. As I finished my own quiet time that morning, my specific action step was to continue to pray about God's leading for adoption and to attend 1-2 adoption informational meetings in the next month with Jill. God is continuing to move and speak.....
Marker #3: Over the 4th of July, we took a quick trip out to visit some of Jill's extended family in Northwest Iowa. Being the 4th of July, there were plenty of fireworks, parades, food vendors (elephant ears, anyone?), and concerts to take in. While we were getting ready to go to one of these events, Jill's uncle randomly asked me if I had heard of a book called
"Adopted For Life" by Russell D. Moore. They were studying it at their church and exploring the idea of how their church could be involved in ministering to those who are adopting or considering adoption. I was caught off-guard by his question - did he know I was wrestling through the idea of us adopting? Why did he ask me about this specific book? I was able to safely respond by saying I hadn't heard of the book, but tried not to lead on that I was really intrigued by the book and anxious to read it. (not sure how well I did with that, though)
Later that day he asked me another question: "Have you and Jill ever considered adoption?" I realized I couldn't dodge this question as easily as I could his earlier one about the book. For a split second I was left speechless and didn't know how to respond. I couldn't let on that we were thinking about
this exact question! I said a few words (which probably came out really weird), only until I could figure out how to
not answer his question directly and shift the attention to something else (maybe I've been watching too much political Q&A?) I think I tried to make a quick joke to lighten the mood and hope he wouldn't ask the question again, which worked. Phew! He later apologized for asking that question, but I wasn't offended at all....just blown away again as I began to think that God was using him and his questions as another "marker" on this journey of adoption I was on.
Little did Jill's uncle know....after we arrived home I ordered the book he asked me about and started reading it right away. (more on the book in a future post) Needless to say, despite the awkwardness of those moments and questions during that hot day in July, God used Jill's uncle in more ways than he ever realized......
And so, after some continued prayer and discussion into the early fall, I was prepared and confident to tell Jill that I was ready to adopt. I was all in. God had changed my attitude, my priorities, and my heart and I was ready to make a difference in the life of another child who may not otherwise have a family or someone to love them.
Soon afterward, we began attending a few informational adoption meetings with some agencies in the area and looking over options that would be a good fit for our family. Before you know it, the formal application and initial paperwork was filled out and turned in! And now we're on our way to adopting a little boy or girl from South Korea! God is good!
